There is a common assumption among dog owners that when two dogs meet, they should say hello. Your dog spots another dog approaching, pulls towards them and the other owner says, “They’re friendly!” Before you know it, the dogs are nose to nose and the leads are wrapped around each other while both owners try to work out what happens next. But being friendly does not mean your dog needs to greet every dog they encounter, and learning to calmly walk past another dog is actually one of the most valuable skills you can teach.
Dogs don’t need to be friends with everyone
Dogs have individual personalities and preferences. Some dogs genuinely enjoy meeting unfamiliar dogs, while others are much more selective about their social interactions. Some prefer familiar dogs they already know, and some are happiest simply walking alongside other dogs without interacting at all.
We don’t expect people to greet and socialise with every stranger they pass in the street, so there is no reason to expect dogs to do the same. A dog can be perfectly well socialised without wanting to interact with every dog they see.
In fact, constantly allowing greetings can sometimes create an unwanted expectation. If your dog learns that every time they spot another dog they get to approach and interact, they may start anticipating that interaction. Eventually, seeing another dog can become a cue to pull towards them, whine, bark or become increasingly excited. The problem isn’t necessarily that your dog is aggressive or badly behaved. They may simply have learned that dogs are extremely exciting and that pulling gets them closer.
The lead changes everything
Another important consideration is that interactions on lead are very different from interactions when dogs have freedom to move.
When dogs are loose and comfortable, they can make choices about whether to approach, move away, change direction or increase distance. A lead removes many of those options. A dog that doesn’t want to interact cannot simply walk away, and a dog that becomes worried may feel trapped.
Direct approaches can also be difficult for some dogs. A dog walking straight towards another dog while both are restricted may create much more pressure than a natural, curved approach. This is one reason why you should never assume that because your dog is friendly off lead, they will automatically enjoy being approached by every dog while on lead.
Learn to read your dog’s body language
Before allowing an interaction, look at what your dog is actually communicating. A relaxed dog may have loose body movement, a soft expression and a natural willingness to move through the environment. A dog who is becoming uncomfortable may show much subtler signs first.
You might see them become suddenly still, turn their head away, lick their lips, stare, slow down, become tense, pull backwards or forwards, or repeatedly look at the other dog. Some dogs become more vocal when they are frustrated or worried.
There isn’t one single body language signal that tells you exactly what a dog is feeling. Context matters, and you need to look at the whole dog and the situation. However, if your dog’s body suddenly becomes tense or their behaviour changes noticeably when another dog approaches, that is information worth taking seriously.
Teach your dog that passing dogs is normal
One of the most useful things you can teach is that seeing another dog does not automatically mean they are going to meet.
Start somewhere where there is plenty of space. When your dog notices another dog, allow them to look. You don’t necessarily need to ask for a sit or constantly call their name. If they remain relaxed, reward them for continuing to walk, checking back with you or simply remaining calm.
The distance is important. If your dog is already pulling, barking, lunging or becoming extremely excited, you’re probably too close to expect them to learn anything useful. Increase the distance and work at a level where they can still think and respond.
Over time, your dog can learn a very valuable association: I can see another dog and nothing exciting or worrying has to happen. I can carry on walking.
You can gradually reduce the distance as your dog becomes more comfortable, but there is no prize for being able to walk within inches of another dog. Your goal is a dog who can cope comfortably, not one who has to tolerate unnecessary close encounters.
Don’t be afraid to create distance
Creating distance is one of the most underused tools in dog walking. If you see another dog approaching and you know your dog is likely to struggle, cross the road, step onto a driveway, move onto a grass verge or take a slightly wider route.
Some owners worry that this makes their dog look badly behaved. In reality, you’re preventing a situation from becoming difficult. Good behaviour management often means changing the environment before your dog feels the need to react.
You can also use visual barriers. Parked cars, hedges, walls and other natural features can temporarily block your dog’s view while you create some space.
What about greetings with other dogs?
This doesn’t mean dogs should never interact. Appropriate social interaction is an important part of life for many dogs. The key is quality rather than quantity.
Give your dog opportunities to spend time with dogs they know, trust and genuinely enjoy. Watch the interaction rather than assuming that because both dogs are off lead, everything is automatically fine. Look for reciprocal play, appropriate breaks, the ability to move away and re-engage, and whether both dogs appear comfortable.
If one dog repeatedly tries to escape the interaction, hides behind their owner, freezes or continually attempts to disengage, they should not be forced to continue simply because the other dog wants to play.
Socialisation is not a competition to see how many dogs your puppy or adult dog can meet. Good socialisation is about helping dogs develop the confidence and skills to navigate the world around them.
What should you say when another owner wants their dog to say hello?
You don’t need to give a long explanation. A simple, “No thanks, we’re practising walking past,” is perfectly reasonable.
If your dog is worried about other dogs, you might say, “We’re giving other dogs some space today.” You are responsible for advocating for your dog, particularly if they are uncomfortable.
And if someone says, “Don’t worry, he’s friendly,” remember that their dog’s friendliness doesn’t necessarily tell you whether your dog wants to interact.
Your dog is allowed to say no.
The real goal isn’t avoiding other dogs
The goal isn’t to keep your dog away from every other dog. It is to give them the ability to share their environment with other dogs without automatically needing to interact with them.
Imagine walking along with your dog, another dog passes on the opposite side of the road and your dog simply looks, sniffs the grass and carries on walking. No pulling, no barking, no frantic greeting and no tangled leads.
That might not look as exciting as two dogs racing towards each other to say hello, but from a behaviour and welfare perspective, it is an incredibly useful skill.
So the next time your dog sees another dog, don’t automatically think, “They need to say hello.”
Ask yourself:
Does my dog actually want to interact?
Are both dogs comfortable?
Do they have the freedom to move away?
Or would simply walking past be the better option?